I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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