OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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