A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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