I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
