drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
