It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
