Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
