Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
