Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize