Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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