Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
