Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Someone came in the potted fern
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
