i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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