He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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