wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
