got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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