Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
