Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
