dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
