Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
