It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
