i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
