Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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