im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
