he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
