I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize