capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
