i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
