O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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