We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
