You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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