drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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