i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It's Friday. Sex?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
