i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
