Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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