He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
