she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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