I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
