How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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