remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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