i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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