YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
