at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
