So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
