my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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