lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
