u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
