4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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