Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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