I hate your face
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
