I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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