If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It's just like the Real World with babies
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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