We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize