My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
