he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Alive.
So much puke
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
