Screwed.edu
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
