i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
