after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
