I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
