Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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