Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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