I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
