I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
