my being single is dangerous.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
