I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
