that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize