The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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