Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
