I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
