I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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