I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
