Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
