Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize