yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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