you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
So. Much. Porn.
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