Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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