We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
