whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
