Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
