I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
