I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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