Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize