went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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